Thursday, November 29, 2007
If Hillary Wins-What Do We Do With Bill?
"Monica,will you accept this rose?"
Considering that there is a distinct possibility that Hillary Clinton will be our next president, the question arises, what will happen to Bill? Since the Clinton's (though they don't want us to know it) are for all intents and purposes separated, it is not clear how much actual time Bill would spend in the White House.
Since leaving office, Bill has been residing in the New York City area, while Hillary works in Washington. Of course, Bill also spends a lot of time traveling around the world trying to repair his legacy. Though few news sources are anxious to investigate or report on it, there are whispers that, since leaving office, he has been...ah well, let us say active (socially). Personally, that's fine with me. He is no longer president, and he can have his private life as far as I am concerned. But what happens if he suddenly becomes the first gentleman (if that's the appropriate word). Does he move back into the White House? Does he become a roving ambassador (no pun intended)?
Can anyone doubt that if the Clinton's return to power that more scandals are on the horizon? Let's face it. The spotlight will be back on Bill if he continues philandering. And in that case, it should be. If the spouse of the president is having affairs, then it is once again, fair game. From what we know about Bill, it's inevitable. Hillary has to know that she will have a problem on her hands. So what does she do? There are no easy solutions short of having him forcibly removed to a monastery, which Eurpoean monarchs used to do in some countries.
I guess she could ship him off to some country as ambassador (No, Bill. You can't go to Thailand.) How about London or Paris? (ooh-la-la!). She could keep him under watch at the White House, kind of like Norman Bates' mom in the upstairs bedroom. Of course, all White House interns would have to be male.
Or how 'bout this? We can film the next "Bachelor" series in the White House, with none other than Bill as the Bachelor. Al Gore could be the master of ceremonies-he sures looks the part. I can see it all now:
Monica- "I really think Bill and I have made a connection. I definitely see him as my soulmate, and I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him."
Paula- "I'm really hoping that Bill will give me the final rose." The way he looked at me last night makes me think he and I are made for each other. I think he'd be making a big mistake if he chooses one of those other &*%#*s."
What do you think-good idea? No? Well, never mind.
Anyway, Hillary, you are, after all, a problem solver. I'm sure you will figure something out. And while you are seated in your big chair in the Oval Office, you can gaze to your left and contemplate that green door on the side and think of all the history.